Don’t judge a book by it’s cover

It is Judgement that we will be exploring over the next few weeks. Judgement has many meanings and can be considered from a number of perspectives. My message this week is to give people time – time to get to know them, to learn what is on the inside. This short film demonstrates how leaping to conclusions can be misleading.

• Behind every person there’s a story
• Whether they laugh
• Or cry
• Or shout
• Or whisper
• Or smile
• Or frown
• Don’t judge people by their first appearance.
• Treat people as you would want to be treated,
• You could have a friend for life.

As we reach the end of the first half of the summer term, I am very aware of the huge changes we have all experienced and will continue to do so for some time. What I cannot know, or judge, is how they have affected each of you and your family individually – but whatever you are feeling, and wherever you are, my thoughts are with you.

Enjoy the half term week – and we shall see what June has to bring us!

Mrs D-C

‘Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?’ Hunter S. Thompson

Relationships and the support of others can help us become more resilient. Both the giving and the receiving of support helps us – in good times, as well as bad. Realistic optimism also helps: recognising what we can control/influence and do something about; what we can’t, and so focusing our efforts accordingly. Where possible, seeing the benefits in adversity and putting tricky times into perspective builds our capacity for resilience and our ability to bounce back.

1. Strengthen connection between mind and body: We often approach our mind and body as if they were unconnected. Rather, they are inextricably linked and valuable parts of our ‘selves’. For example, the vagus nerve, which transmits information to or from the surface of the brain to tissues and organs elsewhere in the body can affect the following:

• Communication between the brain and the gut: the vagus nerve delivers information from the gut to the brain.
• Relaxation with deep breathing: the vagus nerve communicates with the diaphragm. With deep breaths, we feel more relaxed.
• Decreasing inflammation: the vagus nerve sends an anti-inflammatory signal to other parts of the body.
• Lowering the heart rate and blood pressure: if the vagus nerve is overactive, it can lead to the heart being unable to pump enough blood around the body.
• Fear management: the vagus nerve sends information from the gut to the brain, which is linked to dealing with stress, anxiety, and fear – hence the saying, “gut feeling.” These signals help us to recover from stressful and scary situations.

So relaxing our bodies can help destress our minds, and vice versa. Activities such as reading, exercising, playing or listening to music, looking at or creating art, prayer, meditation and yoga. Blowing bubbles also has much to recommend it – very calming and therapeutic! Finally, it is well known that ‘laughter is the best medicine’ – humour and a lightness of approach can go a long way in challenging times.

We continue to live in uncertain and changing times. Thank you for your ongoing support and understanding as we plan for the remainder of this term.

Mrs D-C

‘If you look the right way, you can see the whole world is a garden.’ Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

Our brains have not yet caught up though, and it appears that positive and negative experiences do not ‘weigh’ the same. It seems that to get the benefits of positive emotions in the longer term, we need to aim to experience around three times as many of these, as we do negative emotions. These don’t need to all be huge surges of joy; small instances of gently positive feelings also count. We can shift our thoughts from negative to positive. To do this we need to have power over our thoughts and that can be tricky. Let you have your thoughts, not your thoughts have you. Practice really helps and I suggested to the girls that they try:

– thinking about 3 things to be grateful for.

– thinking ‘Will this matter a day? A month? A year? from now. If not, let it go.

– when you pass someone, or see them on a screen, send a silent ‘I wish you well’ message.

– notice small moments of joy and wonder – they all add up to create an overall feeling of happiness and well-being.

As we head into the long weekend, I am aware that the government will be making statements during the course of Sunday and Monday, which may well impact on how our lives will look during the coming weeks. Insofar as any potential changes for schools, I am sure you will understand that we will need time to assimilate government guidance and consider what our response should be at The Abbey. A number of factors will need to be considered in what will inevitably be a complex situation. I thank you for your continued support as we move forward.

In the meantime, whatever you are doing to mark the end of WW2 in Europe, have a good Bank Holiday weekend.

Mrs D-C

This week in our virtual assembly, we began to explore Happiness. Our initial thoughts about what makes us happy might include feeling good or being rich; of being a state that we somehow ‘attain’.

However, expecting ‘things’ to make us happy (happiness materialism) can negatively influence life satisfaction in two different ways:

It is interesting to try this exercise:

1. List all the things you have done in the last 48 hours. How have you spent each hour of each day? What were you doing? Who were you with?
2. For each activity, rate how much you experienced positive emotions or pleasure, on a scale of 1-6.
3. Next, rate each activity according to how purposeful you felt. Was this something worthwhile for you? Did you feel valued or useful?

Paul Dolan, author of Happiness by Design, believes that the secret to being happy is the ‘Pleasure-Purpose Principle’. This is the idea that we need to experience both positive emotions and a sense of being valued and useful, to be truly happy in our daily lives. You may be interested to read his recent article about how to find happiness in lockdown.

Finally, in my assembly, I talked to the girls about the dawn chorus. We can hopefully still hear birdsong through our windows, even if we can’t get outside as much as we’d wish. I did flag International Dawn Chorus Day this Sunday to them – so they might be asking if they can get up early to listen to the birds – sorry!

Have a good weekend.

Mrs D-C