Pete Holiday

Today saw one of the most joyous events in The Abbey School calendar: House Music and Drama (HMAD) at the Senior School.

It is simple enough to describe. The entire Senior School spends the day in the Richards Hall. Each of the four houses stages a show and performs it to the rest of the school. There is poetry, drama, comedy, music, dance, gymnastics. There is exuberance and silliness and laughter, moments of pathos and piercing beauty, moments of illuminating wit.

What makes the event so special is the complete ownership of students. They act and perform and play; but they also plan, direct, choreograph, compose, orchestrate, conduct. And for the House Captains who take the lead, and other performers in Upper Sixth, they do all this while managing the little business of applying to university at the same time.

The shows are impressive by any measure. As examples of student leadership and organisation, creativity and teamwork, they dazzle.

During this whirlwind day, full of energy and spark, I was reminded of two of my favourite literary quotations. Both initially seem pretty dark (that’s an English teacher for you), and neither seems to have much to do with dance and song! The first is Truman Capote’s observation that the reason most people get up in the morning is ‘not because it would matter [if they didn’t] but because it wouldn’t’. Life would just go on without us: the world would not stop.

The second seems even worse, and starker: Leonard Woolf’s favourite melancholy phrase – ‘Nothing matters’.

However, despite appearances, there is something magical in both these sentiments: something that relates to the fierce bursts of joy on stage today. Both provoke us to act. Both challenge us to face down and defy despair: to live all the more brightly, to dance and sing, to cherish and make the most of all that we have, because in doing that we create meaning and beauty and purpose.

Towards the end of his life Leonard Woolf made this meaning explicit: he amended his mantra to ‘Nothing matters, and everything matters’. At difficult times in the world the truth of this statement is all the more apparent and powerful.

Caught up for today in the fun and glory of young people making something wonderful out of nothing, and celebrating each other’s hard work and commitment, one thought was so clear above all: this matters. The passion, talent and effort on show today matter. Every single student, and the futures they weave so brightly through every choice they make: they really, really matter. We are so proud of them all.

George Morton, Deputy Head

This week saw the latest instalment of our fruitful partnership with Reading School as 40 mere muggles from LIV to Sixth Form took part in their inaugural Harry Potter Quiz. In good British pub quiz fashion, there were drinks and snacks aplenty – though I’m assured that no Butterbeer or Cockroach Clusters were served – and a fierce competition for the first prize raged, possibly comparable to the one fought over the Hogwarts Quidditch Cup…

That’s my yearly dose of Harry Potter references pretty much used up in one short spell (sorry – that one really was too easy), but the visit to our friends and neighbours did make me wonder why our students, in fact why seemingly our whole nation, love taking part in quizzes so much. OK, our ‘Potterheads’ this week had a shared passion, but why do grown-ups and children alike get such excitement and pleasure from taking a quiz? If they were invited to spend their free time taking an assessment, an exam, or undergo an appraisal, I can’t imagine that many would be queuing up.

Indeed, in lessons, some students can’t help but turn a little pale when you mention an upcoming test in a fortnight, but tell them that it’s time for a quiz, without any preparation whatsoever, and it can be hard to control the enthusiasm. As teachers, we know that quizzes can boost self-esteem and confidence, with students offering answers without the fear of failing that we repeatedly urge them to ignore. Sometimes the chance of winning the most meagre of prizes drives them on, but in truth it is the opportunity to challenge themselves that really makes taking part in a quiz a joyful experience.  

Make it a team quiz and the red line in the barometer of fever-pitched enthusiasm goes rocketing upwards even further. Just choosing a team name can lead to students scrabbling for dodgy puns and using words with delightful reckless abandon (though I was a touch disappointed that there were no teams called The Quizzards this week!). The palpable sense of pride and achievement when they whisper the answer to their group first, even if it is just for that single point, is a treat to behold.

Many households grew weary of quizzes during the lockdowns. In the absence of news to share, families and friends tested each other with almost combative ferocity and tedious regularity. Teaching the wonderful Abbey students, and observing them tackle quizzes in lessons, has restored my faith in a good quiz. Indeed, their eagerness to be involved in so many classroom staples – brainstorming, problem-solving, debates, presentations, and peer reviews to name but a handful – provides our teachers with so much pleasure. It is the humble quiz, however, that seems to get the students’ hearts racing like a Harry vs Lord Voldemort spell collision.

George Morton, Deputy Head

‘The journey of life may be easy, may be hard.’  So starts one of the Junior School students’ favourite hymns.  How can we prepare young people for this?  We often talk about developing resilience and this demands that we are honest about the ‘hard’ bits of life’s journey.

In the Junior School, our children are offered many opportunities to ask questions and raise concerns.  Listening carefully and responding sensitively is at the heart of helping them to understand that some things in life may be out of our control, may cause distress and yet, somehow, we can navigate a way through and eventually find joy again.

Allowing children to experience setbacks and disappointments, and modelling an honest response to such events, will help them to manage more significant hardships later in life.

From not being chosen for a ‘golden award’ in assembly; through not being selected as a Sports Captain or being given the lead in a play; to failing a first attempt at a driving test: any of these setbacks will feel significant and very disappointing to students but these occasions have the potential to provide valuable opportunities to work out how future challenges might best be managed.

Allowing young people to experience and manage a range of emotions in a supportive environment will help to prepare them well for the times in the future when they may need to face difficult times more independently, whether that be as they head to university or further in the future.

It can be tricky to find the space to have these conversations and we may feel wary about broaching emotive areas.  My three sons are now in their twenties but I still remember how easy it can be to fall into the trap of only talking about ‘logistics’ in term time – What homework do you have? Where is your swimming kit? Have you practised the piano? Have you fed your pets?  However, grabbing a few minutes to talk on a short car journey, stacking the dishwasher together or chatting over dinner can often be a great start to a meaningful dialogue.

Listen carefully to your child’s questions, allow your daughter to share her feelings of sadness or distress without rushing to smooth those emotions over and avoid using euphemisms.  Make space for these important conversations.  To quote W H Auden out of context: ‘Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.  Silence the pianos…’

Our students are curious.  They see the world with fresh eyes and can challenge perceived wisdom. Our unique Human Intelligence curriculum encourages them to make their voices heard, so we should not shy away from addressing life’s difficulties with them. 

On Saturday 14 October the Junior School will be embracing our students’ vision for the future through our amazing ‘Discovery Zone’ event.  A morning of fun, logic, engineering and technological innovation, this family event is aimed at girls aged 3-11.  

We will have a virtual reality experience, an opportunity to build the greatest racing car ever and a rocket challenge, plus much, much more.  Keep an eye on our social media channels and remember to reserve your spot.  In the absence of a crystal ball to predict your daughters’ futures, our school nurtures an environment that challenges gender stereotypes – both conscious and unconscious – providing a high challenge, joyful space in which to cultivate courage and resilience for whatever life may throw at them. We look forward to seeing you there!

Sacha Heard, Assistant Head/DSL, The Abbey Junior School

What is it that lends The Abbey its identity? To use a lovely and neglected word: what is The Abbey’s quiddity – literally its ‘whatness’ – the thing that makes it what it is?

We set four students the task of answering this question over recent days in their speeches to the Senior School and Sixth Form Open Evenings. We asked them to tell visitors about a personal experience that, for them, defined what makes the school special. Their answers were such a delight to hear.

Ingeborg remembered standing on the highest diving board when she first started at the Senior School. It was impressive to have got up there in the first place, given that she doesn’t like heights – but once she arrived, she had the experience familiar to many of us of realising the water was suddenly much further away than it had looked. What struck her so powerfully was the support and encouragement she received, not just from the teacher and her friends, but from new classmates she had only just met. It was positive and kind and authentic: and it was the quality she felt had continued from that moment throughout her journey all the way to the Upper Sixth. And yes, it gave her the confidence to jump!

Jigya told a very funny story about her method of making friends and influencing people by sending every member of the English department, including several she had never met, a practice essay around the time of her mocks. The point of her story is that every single one of them got back to her immediately with personalised and thoughtful feedback. Sometimes visitors may assume that Abbey students do so well because of who they are – and in truth they are amazing young people who bring so much to the learning experience. But it is this dedication and commitment from teachers that helps to develop and support their wonderful success.

What was lovely about Jigya’s story was not just the help she got but the warmth, self-deprecating humour and generosity with which she told the tale. This was true too of Reeti, who shared a similar but even more intense moment. She had hit that point of the UCAS university application process when it had all become overwhelming and she didn’t know what to do. In one day, via support from five different members of staff, she felt back on track. Again, her story spoke of dedication – and above all of care. It mattered to everyone she spoke to. She mattered. That is what we want above all for every one of our students.

Finally, back to the water. Poppy told her audience about her 120km canoe trip for Gold D of E. She spoke about the moment when the current picked up, the exhilaration mounted – and just ahead of her, her friends’ boat capsized, hurling them into shoulder-deep water, and sending many of their possessions swept away by the current. They were of course completely safe – Richard Godfrey, our inspirational Director of Outdoor Learning, would have me out on a forced march if I neglected to make that clear – but it would have been a scary moment and a set-back. What made it stand out for Poppy was the response to adversity – the way the team dealt with it, not only by getting through, but by laughing about it and turning it into a song as they did so.

I often say: to know The Abbey meet any one of our students. That could not have been more true of Ingeborg, Jigya, Poppy and Reeti’s contributions. It is equally true of the dozens of students who have given tours and answered questions, including at the packed Junior School Open Event this morning. We burst with pride, seeing them do so with such assurance and kindness – and we know how intensely parents share that pride. It is well-earned.

All of this is part of what The Abbey is – and part of the reason this community continues to thrive. At the Sixth Form Open Evening we shared a remarkable statistic: over the last three years Sixth Form has grown by an astonishing 33%. We will of course keep an eye on that and ensure we maintain sensible limits and the sense of friendship and family that is so important to the experience. However, this is such an endorsement of all that goes on, and of the relationship between staff, students and families that we value so much. In the end, the answer to the question of what makes The Abbey is – its people. Thank you so much to everyone in the community who, together, make it so special.

Will le Fleming, Head

A lasting memory I have from our family summer break is in a canoe. Bodhi and I were racing my daughters around Lake Windermere, in glorious conditions – sun beams bouncing off the clear, calm water, the bluest of cloudless skies above, a sense of escape from dry land with a beautiful landscape as backdrop.

Within an hour, this was swiftly – unpredictably – replaced by the darkest clouds rolling in overhead, with torrential rain soaking us to the skin and choppy water flinging the canoe off course. Yet there I was, with our school emotional support dog entirely dependent upon me to respond to the change in conditions and an enormous yearning on my part to get to the finishing line (and not at the expense of losing the race, of course…). Those hours of my training in the pool and gym were tested to an extreme. 

Resilience. That is the word of the age. My life looks very different now to when I first joined this school community. I have taken back control of a narrative that got me away from me. The media provides us with many stories of other women doing the same. People who were reduced to a single headline, one often framed by the male gaze. Even Barbie has had a moment of reclamation; strong is the new pretty.

Through our morning assemblies in the Junior School, we have reflected upon the journey of life. The fact that we are all at different stages, continually making decisions as we face choices about which path to take when we reach a fork. We all have different hopes, dreams and ambitions for our lives. Some parts of the journey are hard. At other times, things can seem quite straightforward. However, for each of us, a time is likely to come when we face something unexpected or particularly challenging. We never know when these times might arise. And so as we embark upon a new school year, we do so with a shared sense of kindness towards one another. To do to others as we would have them do to us. To acknowledge that the journey will involve some hurdles, some challenges that are bigger than others. And to lean into one another for support to bolster our courage as we navigate the path.

So we devote our start to this term with themes around the resilience of women and the ways we are reimagining a more inclusive female gaze as our lives and world evolve. 

As teachers we channel a different kind of resilience. A great misconception about educational leadership in independent primary education is that its most powerful players are women. In fact, they are the faces of a sector still largely run by men; the latter tend to hold the Headship and Governance roles, even though women make up the majority of prep school workforces.

And then there is the history-making football team – our homegrown Lionesses – playing in the Women’s World Cup. In July ‘22, they won the UEFA Women’s Euros, becoming the first English team to win a major tournament since 1966. It was, in short, the women who brought the football home. What better example of resilience, of growing social impact, of igniting a flame within our sisterhood is there? 

This theme has underpinned the Girls’ Schools Association Girls Go Gold conference which we have been delighted to host at The Abbey this week. Working in partnership with the University of Reading and sports governing bodies, we enjoyed one of the UK’s largest celebrations of young women in sport. Over 500 students from 40 schools took part in sports masterclasses, seminars and inspirational talks from world-famous athletes, coaches and sport professionals. The idea that women have an equitable place in sport was promoted from every corner of our school; the energy, palpable. Our collective desire was a simple one: hold a mirror up to every young female in our community and equip them with the confidence, tenacity and self-belief to chase their sporting dreams to reality. 

And so as we stand at the crossroads of a new school year, with all the changes that we will face, I reflect upon the many experiences we have already shared as a community in the first seven days of reopening our doors. I am struck by the reminder that we are not just about celebrating our teachers – male and female – in our classrooms, but the many who pour their time, heart and compassion behind the scenes. Already, we have demonstrated a tremendous team spirit as we set our students off on this year’s journey. It offers me a tremendous sense of pride in this privileged position we hold as educators. Long may it continue. 

Nisha Kaura, Head of The Abbey Junior School