‘Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything’ George Bernard Shaw

However, it does not mean that we have to agree with everybody – rather that we listen to them, even if we then disagree. The formality of a structured debate, such as the one I shared with the girls concerning the pros and cons of school uniform, gives us the opportunity to practise drawing together reasoning and arguments for and against – to practise listening to opposing points of view and to then form our individual decision. Our legal and democratic systems of law and of government are founded on similar principles.

So to help us avoid ‘all or nothing’, ‘black or white’ thinking it is useful to:

• Open our mind to new ideas. Keeping an open mind can help us to think about the world differently. When we remain open-minded, we’re likely to perceive a situation as it is, rather than how we think it should be.
• Let go of our expectations. Letting go of expectations is one of the keys to ridding our mind of all-or-nothing thoughts. Expectations — those little “should” and “should nots” in your mind — can really force you into thinking in extremes.
• Look for the grey areas. In almost every situation, there are different layers and different ways of looking at whatever you may be faced with. It’s easy to slip into that “black or white” thinking because it comes so readily to most of us. However, it’s worth giving any situation you see in black or white a little more thought to see what’s really happening rather than accepting your initial reaction.
• Try to see things as they are. We can tend to see things the way we want to see them rather than the way they really are and this can be a major problem. When you actually look at the situation as it is, you’re much more likely to see the layers and complexity of it. We’re much more likely to avoid extreme thinking if we do what we can to remove ourselves emotionally from a situation and really look at what’s actually happening.
• Avoid labeling with a single word. This one sounds simple, but it’s important. When we think of something in terms of one word, we’re limiting it immediately. Think about it like this… If someone asks how your day is, you usually respond with words like “Good!” or “Terrible.” When you label a situation/person/etc. with a single word or phrase, we’re instantly limiting it. Opening ourselves up to describing things in detail (at least in our mind) helps avoid those thoughts in black and white.

We’re looking forward to welcoming many of our Nursery, Reception, Lower Prep and LIII students into school next week. Whether your daughter is in school or continuing to work from home, we will continue to do all that we can to support her during these ever-changing times.

Mrs D-C